Two days ago I went with my family to the local high school track. The day before…. I had told my husband that I wanted to start running in order to get in shape. I mean, people “start running” all the time. Apparently running feels “good” and it burns loads calories and makes you “heart healthy.” And so since I’m in my early 30s and I want to be healthy (aka I want to wear cuter clothes in a smaller size…just keeping it real) I said that I wanted to start running; flippantly and easily…I said that. To my husband. Who is a runner.
And he took me seriously.
Heck, I took myself seriously.
I TOTALLY thought I would run a few laps, breathing through them gracefully…striding easily and steadily, like some sort of athletic gazelle of awesomeness. No, like a black panther of coolness.
Wrong!….. Wrong wrong wrong.
I did ONE LAP and was done. DONE!
It felt as though I’d lit the bones in my calves on fire. And the strange thing was, I wasn’t tired. Like…my upper body wasn’t tired, in fact I wanted to do more, I just couldn’t. My poor legs could not handle it. They were like: Look, if you leave now, we’ll let you walk off this track. Go for another lap, and you’re crawling out of here.
I listened. I did not want to have to drag myself off the track military style under the watchful gaze of the (very serious) amateur Mexican soccer club.
Since that day, I’ve gone back to the track twice. Yesterday I and walk/jogged for 20 minutes (4 to 5 times around the track…my body adjusts to exercise pretty quickly). And you know, I actually enjoyed it…while hating it. I have a love/hate relationship with exercise: I hate exercise, my body craves it…
So….I am TRYING my absolute best to get in shape. But I will tell you a little secret…I have basically no idea how to get in shape. I mean I do…it’s just sort of hard to explain. Theoretically, I know what to eat, it’s not like a few years ago when I would just stare into my refrigerator and think: “What the hell do I do? What do I eat?” But it’s still hard because I did not have healthy habits ingrained in me as a child…so I can’t just go on autopilot and be a healthy person. I have to think for a while, before I eat anything, in order to make sure I eat healthily. I have to tell myself: let’s take 4 minutes and peel & dice a cucumber; do not have an enormous bowl of cereal, an entire pack of crackers, or whatever else you can turn into a sugar high. There’s like this mental block…It’s hard to describe, but anyone who is an emotional eater or anyone who ate compulsively to as a child in order to deal with trauma can understand.
I’m trying to learn and APPLY these (oh so elusive) “rules” for being healthy, because I have slowly come to realize that I eat like a fast food addicted preschooler. I had a somewhat tumultuous childhood and I was not really TAUGHT how to eat. I wasn’t taught about protein, carbs, fats…calories, the importance of fruit, vegetables, calcium, iron, or other nutrients. Nor was I trained to drink water. Let’s just say I grew up on a take-out and a carb/meat heavy diet and exercise/sports were not encouraged.
“Wow Tiana, how are you not 800lbs?” You ask incredulously?
Well, I was on my way darling…until I decided that I needed to educate myself on how to eat healthily. I finally sort of understand what to do, it’s just applying it and making healthiness a habit that’s difficult. It’s also overwhelming sometimes, having to meal plan and think about food and working out. But…it’s worth it..for me and especially my girls. I want them to know how to be healthy adults. So…there you go.
Time to go to the track, with the girls and the Husband and go for a run….care to join us?
If yes, download “C25k” on your phone, use Spotify to create a playlist of awesome songs you love. And hit your local high school track (with a Buddy or some pepper spray (if you suffer from anxiety and paranoia)) and have at it.
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