This is a parent blog/website, which it is mainly for parents. As a parent, you have had sex. Sex is a topic that will sometimes be covered in this blog. If you are an adult, but not a parent, that’s fine. If you are MY parent, you better hightail it out of here, pronto.
So, my friend posted an article on facebook about women who have NEVER orgasmed, ever…in their lives. I was like o_O Never?
Why keep doing it? I’m not being snarky; it’s an honest question.
Orgasming is awesome, one of the most awesome things in the history of ever. I wouldn’t have believed this lack of orgasm if I hadn’t had a friend tell me the same thing years ago, and the thing was, she was NOT a prissy miss, she was a very sexually adventurous woman, having had many men and many encounters. She was also full of sadness AND had dun dun dun dun! Trust Issues.
I am in no way an expert (except for the fact that I climax probably 98% of the time when my husband and I have sex….BOOM! Totally an Expert).
And what I have learned is, in order to have an orgasm:
1. You need to have a husband who Will wait for you
(I mean, how long does it really take a man to get excited past the point of no return…10 seconds? What’s that old adage?
A woman is like a fire: you have to gather the wood, light the flame, stoke it, tend to it, you’re then rewarded with a warm fire, and in a bit you get a roaring and raging fire that could burn your face off! Yes, that’s a woman in the heat of passion.
But how many men get to enjoy a woman who is on fire for him? Not many I guess.
2. You need to have a husband who Will work for you
(you know…. pleasure you, do things that you like; listen when you tell them what you like. And you might have to be brave and actually tell them what you like; they may not ask. They may assume that you like everything (or worse, that you like nothing they do; so it doesn’t matter anyway).
And this leads into the most important thing, you need a husband who
3. Has earned your respect and trust.
Trust is such a big part of sex. I mean, if you are with someone and you are afraid that they will laugh at you, how you look, how you perform, or your desires; then it’s going to be pretty hard to get into the mood. If you have trust issues, honestly, I don’t think the lovemaking will be great no matter how hot and steamy you are. There will be that buried little voice that burps out at the most inconvenient time “Does he really love me or does he just love what we’re doing?” or “Is he seeing someone else?” or “Is he thinking of someone else right now?” and BOOM! your arousal is gone, like a fart in the wind. How sexy is farting?…Farting is the antithesis of sexy, that’s why I wrote “fart” and I never even utter the word in real life, I say “toot.” I’ll just pretend that I wrote “farthing” so I can move on with my life and this story.
If you don’t trust your husband, it’s going to be really hard to open up the deepest layers of yourself, to where you’re most vulnerable, and let go, to achieve orgasm. Nearly impossible.
If you have trust issues, I think you should work on those first, see a counselor you both can agree on. And just focus on “dating” each other and getting to know who you each are right now, how you’ve changed, your thoughts, goals, dreams; if either of you want to try out a few new hobbies.
Don’t just take him to the mall or somewhere you want to go. Take him somewhere he will have fun, like the batting cages; cheer for him, make it so he’s not distracted by other women, other people. Then take him out somewhere for a beer/wine/drink. And then after he’s happy and in front of some nachos and you warm him up with a starter conversation, then ask him about himself, what he likes, what he’s been up to.
Men may not need warming up in the bedroom, but sometimes they need warming up in the conversation department. So let’s just say you are getting your man ready with all of this conversation foreplay, you’re warming him up so you can get to the main event: talking about your feelings! Yay! 😀
More date ideas to come later. And more ways to build trust. And more…everything.
Until then, work on improving your own confidence and knowing how hot you are and how lucky he is to have you. When you realize it, he’ll realize it, and your sex life will improve too.
I hope this helps.
Tiana is not a sex expert, she is simply a wife who really enjoys her husband. Now don’t start fantasizing about my husband because he’s mine; you can work on yours and have him be great in and out of bed too. Tiana is also psychotically jealous very much in love with her husband and she will cut you, so it’s best to just keep a healthy distance from her husband; and she will honor you and do the same.
All threats of violence, real or implied are simply here for comedic effect. Tiana is not liable for anything that may befall you anytime in the future, past, or in alternate realities.